How to know if you are living your best life…

There was a time in the recent past where any extracurricular activity I was involved in was not about me.

Okay, maybe that’s not entirely fair. It was about me, alright. It was about me showing that I had come out on the other side of an abusive relationship. The “look at me” factor on my Facebook page was cringeworthy. The number of selfies alone was staggering; however, one of these projects had to do with social media marketing, which was somewhat acceptable on the surface and not considered an issue. I was busy showing off my new accomplishments and how I loved “my tribe” because, of course, I was getting all of my validation from external sources at that point in my life.

#livingmybestlife

Ugh.

I mean, was I? Being in a toxic relationship systematically erases your wants and needs due to gaslighting, projections, and numerous personal boundary breaks. I came out of that relationship and plunged headlong into multiple projects that consumed the time I spent outside of work and had very little to do with who I was or what I wanted. If it were a sport, I would get an Olympic gold medal in self-negation. I’m not saying I didn’t have any fun doing or wasn’t extremely good at any of these endeavors at all. I am saying that they just weren’t a fit for my time and my talents for many different reasons.

That is the exact opposite of #livingmybestlife.

I’m not too fond of that hashtag because it probably isn’t accurate for most people using it. So how do you know your activities are truly hashtagging worthy?

1. How you are spending your free time is in alignment with your goals and passions.

If you aren’t as happy as you could be and don’t know why or have no idea where to go from this point in your life, you may not be actively working on your life’s passions. You continually try new things in a desperate attempt to find meaning in your life but don’t end up finding any value in your activities or life at all. You may not be able to find this purpose for your life due to low self-esteem, guilt, or even anger. Take some time to get away from anything you are doing where you can relax. Ask yourself seriously what activity would you engage in if either money were no object or if you never made money doing it? What do you and others see as your greatest strengths? What things do you like to do where you lose track of time doing them? These questions, among others, can be the key to unlock the door to what you would be preferable to spend your time on instead of just wasting another night doing something that you know in your heart, if you are real with yourself, isn’t going anywhere or is ultimately unsatisfying,

2. You aren’t trying to prove something to the mass populace.

Living your best life means you no longer feel you have anything to prove to anyone. You have a quiet confidence that speaks for you before any Instagram photo can. You probably aren’t posting most of what you are doing to social media. Understand, some promotion of businesses, creative endeavors, etc., is necessary, but constant borage of “Hey! Eyes over here!” is not. I look at those pictures now and the posts that accompanied them and am incredibly embarrassed by their boastful nature. It feels so foreign to my soul, and honestly, that’s how you know.

3. In fact, you probably aren’t posting on social media much anymore.

When I started to see my passions align with how I was spending my free time and otherwise post-worthy moments, my social media posting and usage became way less. Any length of time spent online would take away from the increased focus on my purpose. I was living but in a whole new way. Living doesn’t mean the temporary adrenaline high from a night out with more than 100 likes on the photographic evidence that you spent the evening with a room full of people. It’s more about the continual peace that comes from following the pathways that reside in your heart no matter what someone else says or wants you to do.

The #livingmybest life hashtag just doesn’t seem appropriate anymore when we look at it from those angles, so what should we start using? Hmmmmmm…

#livingmypassion

Yeah, that’s it. Post that. We need more of that in our feeds.