“Bells will be ringing the glad, glad news. Oh, what a Christmas to have the Blues…”
How I love that tune, mostly when Jon Bon Jovi sings it, but “Please Come Home for Christmas” is on my list of favorite holiday songs. I much enjoy tracks like that. You know, the ones that remind you of a small, bluesy dive bar dressed up in Christmas lights and neon with walls more reminiscent of a wood cabin than a more modern, glass and brick establishment. You have a drink in hand, and you are just vibing to the music…
But wait! It’s the holidays! “All is merry and bright,” and all of those happy type feelings this time of year is supposed to bring, right? Why is my happy place an envisioned lonely dive bar on Christmas Eve?
I’m a massive believer in welcoming all feelings. What I mean by that is I’m not a “good vibes only” type of person. Engaging in that mindset does not help a person actively deal with the good and bad in their lives, potentially leaving them open to a world of hurt. These unprocessed emotions tend to become more significant and unmanageable over time. You start missing valuable information about yourself that can be helpful to your life and your ability to move forward. Cue the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand!
I understand, though, there is a societal pressure to be happy at this time of year. If you aren’t feeling it, go easy on yourself. The origins of our major holidays were not always pleasant ones and started with struggles. So, while the holidays are absolutely a time for joy, they are also a time to think about the hard roads that led us to where we are. It’s all in how you cope with these thoughts that can be the difference between singing the blues or enjoying some “Jingle Bell Rock”!
The Holiday Blues #1 — Loneliness
For many, loneliness is their source of the “holiday blues.” Geographical location may separate people from family, or that separation can be because of estrangement. There may have been a breakup of a long-time romantic relationship, or worse, the death of a loved one. It’s an excellent time to sit with these feelings, examine them, and take the necessary time for processing them all while resisting the urge to isolate completely. Call on nearby friends and fill your calendar with different seasonal events and activities. If you need to make new connections to share holiday cheer with, meetup.com is a great option to find groups of people in your area doing things that you like to do. It’s low stress in that you can try different groups until you find the right fit for you! No matter whether you find a new friend group or choose to hang with “besties,” be open to starting new traditions, as well. They may become your favorites for years to come!
The Holiday Blues #2 — Commercialism
You may find the commercialism of this time of year to be a problem. There are so many advertisements for new cars, jewelry, gaming or exercise systems; the pressure to spend can be over the top! You may be in a situation where you are on a tight budget or just questioning how greed became part of spiritual practices. Many volunteer organizations could use the help, and it’s a great way to warm the heart while making a difference in your community. As well, if you exchange gifts with friends and family, give them a call to see what they may truly need. It may be as simple as babysitting to have a night out with their spouse, help with the yard or house maintenance, or even a small gift card to help towards items they always purchase like groceries or personal hygiene items.
The Holiday Blues #3 — Holiday Stress
I can’t write about this subject without talking about holiday stress. Nearly all of us get it, and the anxiety that results can impede any enjoyment of this cherished time. It helps to make realistic goals for the season by prioritizing the events and traditions that are truly important to you and picking the top few choices. Then pace yourself and not try to do everything in or on one day! One of the best stress and anxiety relievers is to remain in the present as much as possible. If you spend your time worrying about the future or fretting about the past, you won’t be able to be actively participate what is happening now. Try only tasking yourself with accomplishing only one thing a day to space out your activities and get more enjoyment out of the weeks leading up to the holidays.
The Holiday Blues #4 — When the Holidays Are Over
Are you the kind that gets sad when you are packing away the decorations, and all outside seems cold and dismal? Ah, yes — me, too! It’s hard to leave such a happy, hopeful time of year, but that’s just it, isn’t it? That hope is for the new year! Schedule a fun event or new project to commence in January, so you have that something to look forward to. You’ll be more excited to box up the greenery and glitter for another year to get to what’s next! Still find you are a bit teary-eyed that the season is coming to an end? Leave out a small decorative bowl of your favorite ornaments and keep a bit of that holiday spirit alive throughout the year.
On Christmas Eve, I’ll be pulling out a board game and a bottle of wine for my husband and me to enjoy. It’s what we started doing when we couldn’t be with friends or family. I imagine that I’ll be listening to my bluesy holiday tunes and ruminating on the year that has just passed. A knowing smile will appear on my face, and my eyes will soften. I think to myself, “For sure, it’s been a tough year, but a new one is on the horizon.”
“Cause I’ll be happy that it’s Christmas once again…”
Sing it, Jon…
…and truly happy holidays to you all!
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